| Ah, slugs! So little appreciated, so reviled, yet so slimy! They can get rid of all your unwanted yucky garden vegetables for you, and leave behind a glistening trail of mucus instead! And if you're bored, they will shrivel, writhe and melt into a puddle of sludge for your entertainment, in exchange for just a little shake o' salt! So, enjoy this tribute to Nature's Slimy Miracle. And remember--slugs are your friends! Not convinced yet? You are getting sleepy . . . very very sleepy . . . when you wake up . . . you will want to hug a slug! |
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Sonnet Written in Honor of Slugs |
| When walking in my yard one summer dawn |
| I thought upon the lettuce that I ate |
| It grew like weeds throughout my verdant lawn |
| I sighed aloud, for greenery I hate! |
| I needed rescue from the salad bowl |
| The thought of veggies really makes me sick |
| Alas! My yard is shunned by rabbits, moles, |
| Raccoons and squirrels - my plants they will not pick. |
| Oh, lost in gloom was I, my teardrops fell |
| My garden lacked a single tiny bug |
| Consigned was I to vegetative hell |
| Until my eyes did spy - a blessed slug! |
| I kneeled at once and kissed its trail of slime |
| That slug was my sweet savior for all time. |
| An Opposing View, Offered in the Name of Freedom of Speech |
Trail of Slime |
| (With apologies to the late great Johnny Cash) |
| Click here for a recording!!! |
| Mm-mm-mm-mm |
| I keep a close watch for a trail of slime |
| I keep my eyes wide open all the time |
| I keep the salt out for the slug that hides |
| For on slug slime |
| I will not dine. |
| I find it very, very easy to get sick |
| If mucus on my salad fork I lick. |
| Yes, I'll admit that slug slime makes me hurl |
| The grossest stuff |
| In the whole world. |
| Mm-mm-mm-mm |
| As sure as dirt is dark and plants are green |
| Slugs are the worst things I have ever seen |
| And queasiness I've known proves that I'm right |
| For on slug slime |
| I will not dine. |
| Slugs have a way of sneaking in the bowl |
| They give me cause to wish I could eat coal. |
| To avoid which, I know I'd sell my soul, |
| For on slug slime |
| I will not dine. |
| Mm-mm-mm-mm |
| I keep a close watch for a trail of slime |
| I keep my salt quite handy all the time |
| I search with care all through my salad dish |
| I do not wish |
| A slug to squish. |
Copyright © 2009, Martin Berman-Gorvine
