Wild wild world o'slugs!

Nature's slimy miracle!

Ah, slugs! So little appreciated, so reviled, yet so slimy! They can get rid of all your unwanted yucky garden vegetables for you, and leave behind a glistening trail of mucus instead! And if you're bored, they will shrivel, writhe and melt into a puddle of sludge for your entertainment, in exchange for just a little shake o' salt! So, enjoy this tribute to Nature's Slimy Miracle. And remember--slugs are your friends! Not convinced yet? You are getting sleepy . . . very very sleepy . . . when you wake up . . . you will want to hug a slug!

Sonnet Written in Honor of Slugs

When walking in my yard one summer dawn
I thought upon the lettuce that I ate
It grew like weeds throughout my verdant lawn
I sighed aloud, for greenery I hate!
I needed rescue from the salad bowl
The thought of veggies really makes me sick
Alas! My yard is shunned by rabbits, moles,
Raccoons and squirrels - my plants they will not pick.
Oh, lost in gloom was I, my teardrops fell
My garden lacked a single tiny bug
Consigned was I to vegetative hell
Until my eyes did spy - a blessed slug!
I kneeled at once and kissed its trail of slime
That slug was my sweet savior for all time.
An Opposing View, Offered in the Name of Freedom of Speech

Trail of Slime

(With apologies to the late great Johnny Cash)
Click here for a recording!!!
I keep a close watch for a trail of slime
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the salt out for the slug that hides
For on slug slime
I will not dine.
I find it very, very easy to get sick
If mucus on my salad fork I lick.
Yes, I'll admit that slug slime makes me hurl
The grossest stuff
In the whole world.
As sure as dirt is dark and plants are green
Slugs are the worst things I have ever seen
And queasiness I've known proves that I'm right
For on slug slime
I will not dine.
Slugs have a way of sneaking in the bowl
They give me cause to wish I could eat coal.
To avoid which, I know I'd sell my soul,
For on slug slime
I will not dine.
I keep a close watch for a trail of slime
I keep my salt quite handy all the time
I search with care all through my salad dish
I do not wish
A slug to squish.


Copyright © 2009, Martin Berman-Gorvine