In honor of Osama Bin Laden's martyrdom, a quiz for the masses!

They must be eliminated. They, the Enemies of the People. We all know who they are. They are left-wing agitators, members of dying capitalist classes, imperialists, scorners of the nation's glory and of all that is holy. And of course, everywhere and always, the Jews are most prominent among Them. For who else is tricky enough to be communists, capitalists, Zionists, and enemies of God at one and the same time? And who but the Leader can protect us against Them?

And crucially, while this holy work of genocide is under way, the Leader's Sacred 'Stache must be cultivated!* For without the proper sort of hairy covering for the upper lip, the evils of democracy, freedom of speech and human dignity might yet triumph! Even worse, the Leader's acne scars might be exposed for the world to see!

Your task: Roll your bowling ball and knock over the pins, matching each of the mangy lip-caterpillars depicted above to the Leader who nurtured it. (Note: size of 'Stache not necessarily proportionate to number of murders committed.) Then click on this link to check your work and tally your score.

The Leaders: Bashar al-Assad, Augusto Pinochet, Ayatollah Khomeini, Josef Stalin, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Yasser Arafat, Fidel Castro, Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and of course, Adolf Hitler.

How did you do?

10: Strike! You win honorary membership in the Navy SEALS.

6-8: Spare. You may consider yourself Associate Saboteur, Apprentice Defiler of the Race, Junior Enemy of God, etc.

0-4: Low score denoting ignorance. You are now a Foreign Policy Expert qualified to pronounce on any and all complex geopolitical crises.

* Exceptions may be made for Asian Leaders like Mao Zedong, the Two Kims, Pol Pot, etc. Let's face it, they would just have looked stupid with facial hair (see illustration of "Maostache" below).


Copyright © 2011, Martin Berman-Gorvine